Fitness isn’t about what you can lose. It’s about what you can gain.
Six weeks after the birth of my second child, I had a moment of reckoning that forever changed what I appreciate about exercise.
I sat in my OB-GYN’s waiting room, staring at the fluorescent green intake form on the clipboard in my lap. I tried to read the page through teary eyes as my baby slept quietly in her car seat next to me.
Do you often feel anxious, angry, or sad for no good reason?
Are you able to look forward to tomorrow?
Have you ever had thoughts of harm coming to yourself or your baby?
My first instinct was to lie. But behind the constant clamoring of anxious thoughts, I heard a small, quiet voice in my head: Be honest, it said.
Until that moment, I was unable to admit what I knew in my heart to be true: I was struggling with postpartum depression.
They called my name, and I walked into the clinic. When my doctor walked into the room, she asked, “So how are you doing?”
Before I could respond, the floodgates burst. The sea of anxiety that had swallowed me for weeks flooded the room, and I sobbed uncontrollably.
My doctor looked me in the eye and calmly leveled with me. She said, “I think you may have postpartum depression. How do you feel about beginning some medication?”
I knew I needed to seek treatment, but I wanted to start with my tried-and-true saving grace: movement.
